Within a glass case on the third floor of the Melbourne Cricket Ground sits a electric pink outfit donned by the pop star. His performance in front of a massive crowd of spectators was considered a success.
Perhaps you don't enjoy his music. You might think he is the greatest gift to music the world has ever seen. Or you could adopt a reasonable stance, admitting that some tracks are excellent while others are terrible.
The central idea is that amusement can take many forms. Preferences differ. There is no one way to produce literature or even Test cricket.
The Unrivalled Depth of Test Cricket
The traditional format boasts peerless complexity. It is hard to think of another sport where the contest is so reliant upon external factors.
The elements, the time of day, the cricket ball – the list is endless. Above all is the playing surface.
If Test cricket is art, the wicket is the blank slate on which the cricketers paint their masterpiece.
A Test of Cubism: The Melbourne Spectacle
The fourth Ashes Test between the two sides was Test cricket cubism, the great game taken to pieces and reassembled in a bizarre shape.
Let's be clear, this isn't a defence of the wicket which yielded a win and the another short match of the contest.
Allowing excessive grass on the wicket, leading to 36 wickets falling in less than two days, is not a balanced duel between batter and bowler.
A Rich Tapestry: The Nature of Test Cricket
But any suggestion this was a lesser event, one that should be marked with an asterisk as inauthentic, is incorrect.
The format is a rich tapestry, 2,615 parts and counting. At times, like in Melbourne, the cricket ball does all sorts for the pace bowlers. Other times, it turns square on a dry surface. At other venues, the pitch is dead, other times it explodes.
The exciting finishes are even more exciting because of the time made elsewhere.
Adjustment: The Real Challenge
Some factors are tolerated more readily than others.
The debate in at the MCG was that the equilibrium was skewed excessively towards the bowlers. That the skilled individuals were hindered from playing their natural game.
Test cricket is about problem solving – reading the wicket and adjusting accordingly. The top two individual contributions were made by world-class stars. One line-up committed more errors than the other, and thus ended up second best.
Unbridled Joy: The Fan Perspective
Go and inform the devotees who have suffered 18 winless matches that this wasn't compelling.
In one section of the ground, countless fans waved their flags and sang their songs, fostering a carnival vibe in a stronghold of national pride.
There was belief as the fielding side surged, momentum when the top order fought back, and unconditional love when the result was secured.
Contrasting Examples: The Range of Test Matches
The MCG has a history with controversial surfaces. Previously, a game there featured a wicket with all the life of a pulled Christmas cracker.
That fixture was a marathon, with few wickets and interminable tedium. The two-day game and that previous match are extreme ends of the scale – both are not perfect, yet historical weight can be ascribed to each.
At this stage into the Ashes contest, it is the quick finishes that will remain iconic in the history books.
"Far from being the death of the format at all," said a former player. "Spectators who have been privileged to see these short time have been treated to some real entertainment. A unique show."
Baby Steps: A Glimmer of Hope
In the preparation to this match, the captain spoke like a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
The team delivered for him, reinstating the positive demeanor to his face.
Different players delivered with crucial roles. These are small positives, certainly not enough to ensure long-term success, but something to build on.
In the end, this triumph joins other memorable performances in meaningless games.
As the fans slipped away into a glorious Melbourne evening, the players congregated on the outfield to start their own celebrations.
Enjoy the drink, men. You've earned this one.
